Idealization is a natural part of development for many, from idolizing a sibling to believing in the perfection of a favorite meal. However, when idealization becomes a psychological habit, it can have significant mental health consequences. Here’s what you need to know about idealization, its effects, and how it can be addressed.
What Is Idealization?
Idealization refers to the mental process of magnifying the positive qualities of a person, place, or thing while downplaying its flaws. As a defense mechanism, it shields individuals from experiencing conflicting emotions or anxieties about the object of their admiration.
This coping strategy often serves to sustain the illusion of perfection, particularly in relationships. Rather than confronting doubts or uncertainties, idealization enables individuals to preserve a sense of harmony and stability.
Who Is Affected by Idealization?
Idealization frequently occurs in cycles alongside devaluation, another coping mechanism where a person amplifies negative traits in themselves or others. These patterns are common in certain mental health conditions, including personality disorders such as:
1. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):
Individuals with BPD often oscillate between extreme views of others, holding them in either excessively high or low regard. These shifts are particularly pronounced in relationships with a “favorite person” — someone they heavily rely on for validation and emotional support.
2. Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
Characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, individuals with narcissistic personality disorder often engage in cycles of emotional manipulation. This includes idealizing someone during the early stages of a relationship, marked by behaviors such as:
– Overwhelming displays of affection (“love bombing”).
– Claiming an unparalleled connection with the other person.
– Making dramatic declarations, such as calling them a soulmate or “the one.”
How to Manage Idealization
Breaking the habit of idealization involves addressing the underlying behavioral and mental health challenges through therapy. One effective approach is dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), a type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) designed to address problematic thought patterns and emotional regulation.
DBT helps individuals:
– Practice mindfulness.
– Develop healthier coping mechanisms for distress.
– Manage difficult emotions.
– Build stronger, more balanced relationships.
– Explore and understand their own truths.
By focusing on these skills, DBT can empower individuals to replace idealization with healthier, more realistic perspectives.
Seeking Support
If you find yourself excessively idealizing others or questioning the health of your relationships, it may be time to seek professional support. Erh Health offers a virtual intensive outpatient program (IOP) designed to provide personalized treatment for teens, young adults, and families struggling with mental health challenges, including BPD and narcissistic personality disorder.
Our programs combine individual, group, and family therapy to deliver comprehensive care tailored to your unique needs. Reach out today to connect with compassionate clinicians ready to guide you on your journey to understanding and healing.
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