Lagos, Nigeria — Relationship commentator Stephanie Shaakaa has warned that some mothers are unintentionally damaging their sons’ marriages by forming deep emotional bonds that should belong to their sons’ wives.
Speaking in a candid essay, Shaakaa described the pattern as “emotional incest,” a subtle dynamic where a woman, feeling neglected by her husband, begins to lean on her son as her primary emotional partner.
“She didn’t raise a son. She preserved a husband,” Shaakaa wrote, noting that such mothers often crown their sons as “king” or “the only man who’s never disappointed me,” unaware that this bond can prevent the man from fully committing to his wife.
According to her, these relationships can quietly infiltrate marriages, making the mother central to decisions, celebrations, and crises — while the wife is left feeling sidelined and labeled as jealous or divisive if she objects.
“No matter how loyal or prayerful a wife is, she cannot compete with a bond formed in dysfunction, dressed in tradition, and protected by culture,” Shaakaa stated.
She stressed that the issue is not about disrespecting mothers, but about breaking a “generational hijack” that leaves men emotionally unavailable and wives in unspoken competition.
Her message to mothers was direct: “Let your son go. You’ve had your reign — let the new queen rise.”
Shaakaa concluded that a man emotionally tied to his mother is “already spoken for,” and warned that unless boundaries are respected, families risk losing their sons “not to another woman, but to a life unlived.”
By Adeola Olaniya| August 9, 2025
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