Setting up house alone for the first time?
By Damilola Adeleke
If you’ve just left a sibling or two who practices a what’s-yours-is-mine philosophy, or decided to try something new after a succession of bad roommates, you might feel beyond ready.
But maybe you aren’t positively thrilled by your new circumstances. If you just went through a breakup with a live-in partner or had other plans that didn’t pan out how you’d hoped, you might settle into your new place with disappointment clouding the situation.
No matter what you’re feeling — excitement, stress, or anything in between— it’s normal to have some nervousness, too.
But you can absolutely live alone, safely, without feeling alone in the world. Here are some pointers to help you embrace your newfound solitude and find fulfillment in living solo.
1. Get to know yourself better
Living alone can help you find the time to work on your most important relationship — the one you have with yourself.
Until you live alone for the first time, it’s pretty common to spend most of your time in the company of others. When you focus on maintaining strong connections with friends, family, and romantic partners, though, your relationship with yourself might take a backseat.
If you’re realizing you may not know yourself as well as you imagined, now you have the chance to really take possession of your life. A self-discovery journey can be a great way to kick off this new adventure
You might consider what you like doing with your free time, your favorite foods, and whether you actually enjoy watching all that Netflix (not that there’s anything wrong with that). But don’t forget the deeper questions, too.
If you’ve just left home or ended a relationship, exploring future goals and personal values can help you gain some insight on your identity and the path you want your life to take. A well-developed sense of self can make it easier to identify what you want and need from relationships with others.
https://www.calm.com/blog/how-to-live-alone
2. Strengthen your relationships
Along with soul searching, living alone gives you the chance to examine your relationships and note the ones that don’t do much for your well-being.
Maybe your roommate’s friends automatically became your friends, but you never grew close to any of them. Or you spent most of the last year hanging out with your partner, guiltily feeling the distance between you and your friends widen.
If these stories sound familiar, take some time to identify positive relationships with people who lift you up and add value to your life. Going forward, you can prioritize these important connections.
Remember, you’re under no obligation to spend your free time with people who make you unhappy, so invest your time in the meaningful friendships.
3. Identify when you feel most lonely
No matter how much you enjoy living alone, you may feel lonely from time to time. These feelings might come up around the times of day you associate with seeing people.
If you and your previous roommates usually all returned from work at the same time, coming home to an empty house might be rough.
And if you’ve just left a relationship? It’s absolutely normal to miss that intimacy of snuggling up next to your partner (but it’s also totally normal to love having the bed to yourself now).
There’s good news, though: Knowing where loneliness comes from can help you manage it. And being alone doesn’t have to translate to loneliness.
If you’re a morning person and really miss conversation over breakfast, try planning brunch with friends. When your evenings feel quiet and empty, turn on some music as you unwind from work and make dinner.
If your loneliness is more physical in nature, don’t overlook the value of hugging yourself.
Adeleke Damilola (ACTION) is a versatile content writer with expertise in news writing and a seasoned media professional and broadcast specialist. Currently serving as News Editor for DNews Info, Damilola is also the CEO of the ACTION brand, committed to shaping lives and establishing a legacy of excellence for present and future generations.
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